Whoever it is that keeps kicking me at random times will you quit it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sitting at my desk in work and I can't help but sit this way I've no choice so either like it or lump it, you'd think you'd be used to it by now, so tough! When I'm at home at night then you kick the living daylights out of me, I'll be lying down and you'll have all the room you want to move about and beat me up, but until then will you please behave yourselves or else we won't be having anything from the chippie tonight and you'll be stuck with your Daddy killing quick cook pasta and burning bacon.

Thank you!